The QR Code: A Technological Wonder of our Time
This piece is dedicated to my friend Charlie, who made me my first ever QR code, and a purple one at that!
Welcome to the third lecture in my series “Technological Wonders of Our Time.” If you were here last week, you’ll remember my philosophical examination of the modern toaster, specifically: “What happens if I press the ‘bagel’ button but put in a regular piece of bread?”
Today’s topic was also inspired by my interactions with food and will focus on the inscrutable QR code.
Like all of you, I hadn’t even heard of QR codes until the pandemic, when physical menus disappeared from the few restaurants that hadn’t closed. I remember sitting at a table, helpless. How can I know what this restaurant serves? Then my younger, more tech-savvy lunch companion pointed to the little placard with the funny square dots on it. A portal to the world of the menu! Now I just had to decide between the falafel platter or the Greek salad with the dressing on the side. What a wonder the QR code was!
There is much debate about what “QR” stands for. Some say it stands for Quick Response, but I think it’s more likely to stand for something in Latin, like Quippe Ridere which means “to laugh indeed” or “Quintus Rivus” which means “the fifth river.”
You are probably wondering when the first QR code appeared. This is, of course, unknowable. Some contend that QR codes are evidence of a god or “intelligent design.” How could all those little square dots have arranged themselves without some intelligent being orchestrating the whole thing? And how could they lead me to a website, just by aiming my phone camera? And how could the QR code “know” which cat video website to lead me to? And what is “knowing? And what are “cat videos”? And what are “cats”? I could go on and on.
Others insist on an evolutionary explanation: long ago, a few random square dots appeared. For centuries, people pointed their smartphones at these emergent QR codes and nothing happened. Over time, the randomness of everything led to more and more and more square dots, and then to the appearance of squares in three corners. Eventually some of these arrangements of dots and squares connected to websites, which had also somehow appeared, with photos of baby sea otters, videos of how to clean gutters, and a lot of shopping opportunities, many with free shipping.
As modern as QR codes are, they also remind me of my youth, watching Saturday morning cartoons. Who here remembers the Wonder Twins? I see a few hands. That gentleman with the gray hair squinting through his reading glasses. That lady with the walker. That woman who raised her hand but now seems to have fallen asleep. Well, for those of you who don’t remember them, the Wonder Twins were superhero teenagers who, as long as they were physically connected to each other, could yell, “Wonder Twin Powers, activate!” and transform into anything they wanted. It was pretty cool. When I point my phone at a QR code, I feel like a Wonder Twin. Sometimes I shout, “QR code, activate!” And then I am transported to an internet site of disinformation, cauliflower-themed recipes, or angry comments with no punctuation. O, miracle!
I’ve already alluded to the most baffling question about QR codes: How can each one know to connect to one very specific website? For instance, how did the QR code at Mediterrane-Yum Tavern know to connect to that restaurant’s menu as opposed to some random website of axolotl videos, gossip about Taylor Swift, or lists of the most useless products on Amazon? Even the most rudimentary understanding of probability shows how unlikely that is.
The answer to this question is complex, and while it is outside the scope of today’s lecture, I’ll just say it is related to quantum entanglement, parallel parking, Schrodinger’s cat, and the number 42.
I hope that today’s lecture has helped elucidate the mysterious QR code, and I look forward to seeing you at next week’s lecture about how TV works these days, when I’ll be addressing questions like why Netflix asks “Are you still watching?” when obviously you are still watching and already feel bad enough about it.
Very amusing!
Absolutely hilarious and instructive! Always wondered about those (magic) QR codes.