The Wise Men of Chelm Go Skiing

Part I - The Wise Men of Chelm Build a Hospital

In an old Jewish folktale, the children of Chelm loved to play in a particular spot near the edge of a cliff. Frequently, the children tumbled off the edge and got hurt. The people of Chelm, greatly concerned about their children, brought this problem to their Wise Men, who spent their days ruminating on thorny problems while stroking their long gray beards, sipping Slivovitz, and snacking on cabbage.

After many hours of deep concentration, the Wise Men of Chelm announced their solution: “We shall build a hospital at the bottom of the cliff! Then, when the children tumble off the edge, they will land at the entrance to the hospital!” 

As a child, I loved these stories. They were so ridiculous! Why didn’t the Wise Men find the children a different place to play? Or put up a barrier? These stories—and there were a whole series of them—made me feel superior to the grownups. I could solve these problems better than the Wise Men! 

When I got older, I came to understand that the stories are so hilarious not because of their contrast with our real world but because of their similarity to it. 

And so I offer this modern day version of “The Wise Men of Chelm Build a Hospital.” 

Part II - The Wise Ski-Area Executives of Howelsen Hill Build a Medical Clinic

Howelsen Hill Ski Area, in the town of Steamboat Springs, Colorado, was the first ski area in the US. It opened in 1914. Immediately, it must have been overrun by droves of inexperienced skiers. By definition, how could those first skiers have been experienced when there had never even been a ski area before? Imagine all those skiers crashing into each other! The wipeouts! The yard sales! The broken limbs! And they were skiing on 1914 skis, basically just planks of wood tied to their feet with pieces of string.

“We must do something!” the people at Howelsen Hill Ski Area probably exhorted each other above the howls of the broken-limbed skiers. And here, I imagine a bunch of long-bearded ski-area executives sitting around a large wooden table sipping spiked hot cocoa with mini marshmallows and snacking on Oreos, which were invented in 1912. 

“Skiing is too dangerous!” one executive exclaimed. “We should close the area down.” This one is my honorary ancestor, as he is both very cautious and extremely intelligent, just like me.

“Nonsense!” another executive said. “Skiing is great!” This one is the honorary ancestor of my husband, since they share a tagline.

“I’ve got it!” said a third, pulling apart his Oreo so he could lick out the creamy center. “I used to read these Jewish folktales when I was kid. And in one of them, all these children would play near the edge of a cliff and then tumble off and get hurt. And there were these Wise Men in the town who figured out a solution.” 

“What did they do?” asked the first executive. “Did they find a safer place for the children to play?”

“Even better!”

And thus the first ever Ski Area Medical Clinic came to be built at the bottom of a ski mountain. 

I can’t actually find any proof that this is how it happened, but I also can’t find any proof that this isn’t how it happened, so you be the judge. 

Part III - Don’t Get Me Wrong

Don’t get me wrong. I’m forever grateful to these Chelm-inspired ski-area medical clinics. When our kids were little, we had a loyalty punch card for the one at Hunter Mountain. Every fifth trip to the clinic was free! When I picture my children at that time in their lives, I remember them with rosy cheeks, big smiles, and a cast on one limb or another. 

“You are exaggerating,” my husband tells me. “Skiing is great!”

“You are also exaggerating,” I retort. “Let’s agree to disagree.” 

My husband loves skiing. So does our son. He is in medical school now, and one day maybe he will work at one of these clinics.  He’ll ski with a radio, and whenever someone tumbles down the mountain and gets hurt, he’ll ski down to fix them up. The Wise Men of Chelm would be very proud. 

And so will I. 

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Image: “Ski Gondola Zoo.” See more of my artwork in my Etsy Shop.